Why Hello, welcome back, welcome to the first post of 2020! Today I’m chatting 2020 goals, this years plans and what you can expect to see around here over the coming months. Out with the old and in with the…Oh wait, actually it’s out with the new and in with the old. Let me explain.
2019 was amazing! A year of firsts and huge milestones, all-round a year of greatness. It was lovely, filled with memories I’ll cherish forever and when I look back through my camera roll I’m filled with gratitude for all that came our way. I wouldn’t change last year for the world.
That said, I also feel a slight numbness when I think back over the past year. It was a year, (actually it’s been a solid three years) dedicated entirely to mothering, not that that’s a bad thing however I can’t help feel like I’m just the supporting role. My kids, our family, our life has achieved so much yet personally, all those milestones reached, none are my own! Everyone around me moved forward whilst I stood still. I gave my absolute all, my sole purpose to be the best mum I could possibly be.
It was exhausting and hard going, so bloody hard going! I neglected parts of me, parts of my life and somewhere throughout last year I lost my way. This isn’t the first time these thoughts and feelings have swamped me. Still though, I wouldn’t change last year for the world. What’s that saying? I’m sure I saw it on Pinterest this week, life is a book, you can’t skip chapters, you have to read every line. That’s what 2019 was, a functioning, fundamental chapter, it was precious in its own way.
Perhaps I’m being to hard on myself. Being a Mum will always be my purpose however subtle changes have already seen a positive shift happen in our home. Including myself – yes little old me in my everyday feels good, it feels good for everyone at home.
2020 You Are My Year!
Here’s a little of what you can expect around here. More Moi!! Expect more of the things I love. My blog was once called ‘Everything She Loves’ and like that, it was a little bit of all the things as well as motherhood that filled me with joy, a little of all that I love. It then changed to Emma & Alf, which will continue but my path was never to just be another mummy blogger. Being a mother is very much a part of me, as is yoga, fashion, travelling, brunching, running, interiors. I love photography. I love exploring Scotland. I love binge watching Blue Planet on repeat but you’d never know that because it’s not something that makes the parental cut and I suppose through time, these things became less and less part of me to the point it doesn’t feel authentic when sharing.
In a nutshell, less them, more me!
And My 2020 Goals?
Self love! Not the face masks and fresh manicure self love! The “I matter” kind! I owe myself a little TLC.. eat nutritious meals, find quiet time, appreciate headspace, find new hobbies, reconnections with the ones I once loved. In order to find, feel, reconnect, discover who I am these days, I must accept where I’m at, I must respect and nurture like I do to those around me.
I’ll also be logging off a lot more. The pressure was ON throughout all of 2019! At a time where just being a mum should have been enough, it was also a year where numbers mattered, performing mattered, sealing the deal mattered, turning a hobby into a career mattered. I smashed every goal set, in the end it didn’t matter at all, none of it really felt rewarding. The Instagram politics, the algorithm that challenged my drive to grow eventually sucked the life out of a platform I once loved. The only real success was the memories created as a family.
I’m ridding myself the pressure this year, logging out when needed, stepping back when it feels right too. For anyone in the industry or those who spend a great deal of time online, ask yourself this.. If Instagram was gone tomorrow, say you wake up tomorrow and it was completely gone, how would you feel? What would that mean for you, your life, your family? For me, I’d loose contact with a few online friends, I’d be gutted my online memory book was gone, (although I do have all photos backed up on iCloud so actually that’s not a big deal at all) and that’s it. A few photos and a few contacts, I wouldn’t loose anything else, I’d actually gain, so what’s all the pressure even for, silly isn’t it!
Looking forward, I wouldn’t say I’m particularly excited for this year, it’s more a feeling of relief, acceptance and perhaps peace. I’m ready for it, so so ready for change, more kindness, better connections, more freedom and less pressure. I think that alone feels good, it feels nice and I suppose the exciting part will be seeing what lies beyond that. What will a calmer, more accepting and more loving 2020 bring. I’d love for you lot join me on what I think will be a game changing chapter.
Thanks for stopping by, here’s to health and happiness throughout all of this year, may 2020 bring wonderful things your way!
All my love,