Co Sleeping

He stole my heart and then my bed.

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Ahh the controversial co-sleeping, a topic that has so many rolling their eyes. Let me start by giving you some facts, my real life facts. Alfie is 14 months this week, the number of times he’s slept through the night, none. The number of times he’s self soothed to sleep, none. The number of times he’s napped on his own, none. The number of sleep training methods I have given a fair bash, 9 and counting. My level of exhaustion is off the chart. That is my real life facts right there.

I started co sleeping with Alfie about 8 months ago, around the time I felt physically and mentally exhausted. I was so drained, I reached survival mode. I hold my hands up, I was once that Mum who felt more than just an eye roll at those bragging Mums when I heard those dreaded words, ‘Oh my little one has slept through the night since 6 weeks.’ It is just the last thing on earth any overtired, over sensitive parent needs to hear and is it just me or do those well rested parents always boast so very smugly…just stop! I remember a period of feeling like I was a bad Mum, I was doing something wrong, they’re babies where sleeping and Alf wasn’t, it must be my fault!

When Alfie was born we used the Snuzpod with the Sleepyhead inside. On reflection I wouldn’t do so next time, he may as well have been in our bed from the off set. At 6 months we started the transition from next to me to his own cot in his own room. That was 8 months ago, we’re still not there yet.

Our nightly routine goes a little like, bath, book, bottle and bed at 7pm on the button. Alfie goes to sleep within minutes, in our bed, usually in my arms, he’s so snuggly. I then sneak off when he’s fast asleep. Around 9pm/10pm I’ll be ready for bed which means snuggling up beside him. And that’s it, with the winter mornings being so dark, we’ll sleep through till around 8am. OK please don’t be fooled by that last statement (I am not yet one of those bragging Mother’s), we don’t exactly sleep soundly till 8am. Alf will fidget, toss and turn throughout the night, sometimes wake for a cuddle, sometimes cry to be lulled back to sleep, we still occasionally do the odd night feed but he sleeps and I sleep (and that is all the matters at this point in our life).

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So what is all the controversy about? I have genuinely witnessed the look of sheer horror when I say Alfie sleeps in our bed. Apparently I’ll never get him out…oh and it’s also so very dangerous. Here’s the thing, I am in no rush what so ever to get him out. Who writes these rules? He is my baby and we do what works for us. I don’t even particularly like the  name co sleeping, it’s too formal, my baby sleeps in our bed because that’s what we do, that’s what works for us.

I like to think of it this way, this stage won’t last for long, he is growing up way too fast and believe me he will want his own space way sooner than I ever will . This is his home and until he feels ready to be in his own space I’m Ok with him being safe and sound in mine. I’m OK with the 2am karate chop to my ribs and the 4am dash around the bed to find a soother. I sometimes lie awake watching him sleep, I sometimes sing to him even though I know he’s sound asleep, bedtime is our time together. There are cons that once had me questioning is this right for us…my other half gets kicked out of bed most nights (which he absolutely doesn’t mind at all, he’s the biggest fidget in the bed). I’ve had to rearrange the bedroom furniture which doesn’t look as pretty but hey it saves any midnight tumbles to the floor (our bed is pushed against the wall which means one bedside table randomly placed at the window, I could cry). Occasionally there are nights where Alf just won’t settle and he literally jumps around the bed the whole night, those are rather long nights. That all being said, he wakes me every morning with the biggest smile (and a pee’y nappy) and my heart could burst.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Do you co sleep, have you done so, are your little ones now not so little and still co sleeping? My advice to anyone doing so or considering doing so, do what works for you and your baby. A well rested Mummy is a happier Mummy, and you know how that works, happy Mum happy baby. Don’t get too caught up in the do’s or don’ts, you’ll never know until you give it an honest try. More importantly do not compare your little one (or take notice of those boastful parents). Sleeping through the night is a huge development milestone in any babies life, it will happen when he or she is ready for it to happen. Let’s not blame ourselves, let’s not push to much for it too happen, we aren’t doing anything wrong.

On that note I’m off to snuggle in. Alf went to sleep a little later tonight, because I have no idea what day it is and routine is out the window this week, anyway surely that means we get to sleep till 9 am tomorrow….if only.

Emma x

16 Comments

  1. Hi emma I would just like to say i live reading your blog and enjoy your Instagram page sooo much, my little boy noah is 9months old and very similar to alfie, your experiences are very similar if not the same as mine in having a little boy! They are sooo full of life,love,laughter and i consently go between wanting him to be my baby forever but cant wait for all his accomplishments as he grows! Your recent blog about co sleeping i can really relate to! Noah can change his mind every night about sleep!! Some nights he sleeps through others not at all, he’s in his own cot & room some times in our room and bed, ive done the cry it out method which has worked but sooo hard but now that noah is teething its gone out the window so when he wakes i jump in his cot with him to soothe him because now i feel he has separation anxiety from us! I totally agree with u that they are babies and not everything works for everyone! Thank you for posting this because i feel im not alone! Wishing you and you your family a happy new year xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Kelly (and baby Noah)
      Thank you kindly for reading and for your sweet words. Sometimes I think why do I bother sharing my experiences (it’s so time consuming sometimes) but do you know it makes me smile when I hear Mums share they’re experiences too. Even if it’s been a tough time it makes the world of a difference to know others share your thoughts and feelings. Knowing your not the only one is sometimes all you need to know (and being up all night every night can be lonely). I can relate to all that you’ve said. Noah will settle in his own time, just you enjoy those extra snuggles in the mean time.

      Best wishes to you and family for the new year.

      Emma xx

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  2. I like this piece and it’s truth. I was the Mum in the mother and baby classes that everyone hated because my son slept all night from seven weeks old. However, thankfully I was never one to gloat as I knew that any day that could change. My son is just about to turn two and the last month he woke several times during the night. I completely salute all you mums who are still getting up regularly during the night for it’s such hard work! I have to admit I ended up co sleeping with my (almost two year old) son… but I didn’t care because it meant he slept. He was frightened of being on his own, he missed me. I work 40-60 hours a week and he was feeling it. There are so many judgmental people, and they seem to all have an opinion on how we raise our children. I say you’re doing what is best for your baby. Keep it up mama! Much love.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Naoimh, thank you so much for sharing. I have to say I salute you lady for being out there working 40/60 hours, I work half of that and both Alf and I feel it (another reason why I don’t mind sharing bedtime with him) I completely agree, there are so many people passing judgment too freely, there are no rights and wrongs that work for everyone, I try to just go with my gut. If it feels right and we’re happy then we go with it. Change will come naturally on its own so for now I’m going to enjoy the rest of these nightly snuggles.

      Thank you for taking the time to have a read, I love hearing others experiences, thank you.

      Emma x

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  3. Another lovely blog post and very refreshingly honest and supportive. Oliver is nearly 13 months and still sleeps in the same room as me. Although he has always slept in his cot I found there was lots of pressure to move him to his own room as soon as possible. I’m glad I didn’t as he still needs me most nights even just to see I’m near. Like you I have no plans to move him until I am confident he is ready. There is no rush…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Gillian. Your so right, confidence is key. Our boys need that little reassurance and that’s absolutely fine. I wish I hadn’t put so much pressure on us both to get him sleeping never mind sleeping on his own… pressure is off and I’m going to enjoy the rest of this stage before it is over. Enjoy your through the night snuggles with Oliver (that was my first choice of boys name, but we already have an Olivia, Olly and Oliver in the family).

      Enjoy those hugs sweetheart.

      Emma xx

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  4. This is amazing! My little boy is only 5 months and most nights he starts in his cot next to our bed and by 4am he’s cwtched up next to me! He’s never slept through and I’m absolutely fine what that. If he needs a feed at 1am or a cuddle at 3am then that is what he will get! So refreshing to read this blog post. Lots of love xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Josie. Ahh he’s just tiny at 5 months. It’s so good that your ok with him having a restless night, I wish at 5 months I didn’t put as much pressure on both of us to ‘fix’ things. It absolutely will happen when the boys are ready, until then let’s enjoy those extra through the night cuddles.

      Emma xx

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  5. Hi Emma
    I am really relieved to read your experience on the matter as well as your commentators. My experience: my son used to sleep in a cot beside me and then used to nap in his bed during the day but around 4 months when I reached exhaustion like you did I took him in our bed where he got used to breast feed to go to bed at nights. Some nights are easy some nights are haaaard. I am split about this as I don’t know if he is going to ever go to his bed if he ever stops breastfeeding. My husband doesn’t mind but he is patient as well but from time to time he complains about our love life. I enjoy having my so in our bed but my friends who have older babies tell me they are still co sleeping so does it ever end? So I really am not sure …

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  6. Hey Emma ,
    I felt so relieved reading this blog knowing that i am not alone. My boy’s 10 months old and the number of times he has slept through the night or on his own, NONE! He wakes up 4-5 times and i have to lull him back to sleep every single time . so trying to make him sleep in his crib seemed quite impractical to me. All these perfect youtube baby vlogs and also in real life had me going crazy . Thanks for the blog.

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    1. Hey lovely.

      Firstly thank you so much for taking the time to read. I can so relate to that, all my friends and even strangers I met would have these full nights sleep and perfect bedtime routines with their babies. Alfie still doesn’t sleep darling. I know that’s not what you want to hear but for me knowing I’m not alone made the world of a difference. It just means extra nighttime hugs.

      Your very welcome and thank you again for reading

      Emma xx

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  7. My wee boy sleeps in with us too! Calebs just turned 1 and has been sleeping in with us for majority of it! He will settle in his cot after alot of sleepless nights we got there but he will normally wake 11/12 and come for a snuggle! We have made it to 6am before but that was a nice little one off! Its noce having ur own space with ur partner but we both miss him far too much and i wake up in sheer panic if he has actually slept! Lol! Totally in favour for whatever works for you… do! Too many rules and too many people ready to judge! Happy babies… Happy mums… Happy days

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  8. I just read your blog for the first time and couldn’t agree more with everything you’ve said. I love sleeping with my 7 months old baby boy, he’s giving me so much positive energy every night. I know how fast he will grow up and I don’t want to let go any chance to be close to him! Its my choice and no one else’s business! He gets lots of cuddles, kisses and love from his parents and that’s what matters!
    Best regards from Tbilisi, Georgia

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  9. I about cried reading this! I remember when I was a new mom and mentioned to a co worker that we co slept with our baby and she told me I was just lazy. I cried so hard that day. I love co sleeping. This article is beautiful. Thank you for sharing it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi sweetie, thank you so much for reading and getting in touch. Lazy is far from what it is, for me it started as survival mode then I quickly realised he’s growing so fast so he can stay as long as he needs to. This time doesn’t last forever, I cherish these little moments at night. Thank you so much dear and enjoy those through the night extra hugs.

      Emma xx

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